Goolossary

Google Keywords

List of Google terminology

A

  • Accidental clicks Google euphemism for “click fraud”
  • Accountability What Google instinctively avoids like the plague
  • Algorithm The Black Box set of bias variables that determine what content is discovered and what content is sent to the “back of the arena”

B

  • B-52 Bomber Chair Gift to Google CEO from the Google founders; the B-52 dropped more bomb tonnage that any airplane in world history
  • “Back of the arena” Where a Google executive says Google can send your content
  • Behavioral Advertising The Google business practice that must not be named by Googlers
  • Big Brother Inc. Google running with George Orwell’s 1984 dystopian vision to control all the world’s information
  • “Biggest kingmaker on this earth” How Google’s head of search ranking, Amit Singhal, describes Google
  • Black Box Google’s monopoly core: algorithms, auctions, and quality score
  • Burning Man Hard-to-describe, important-to-be-aware-of event Google founders regularly attend and appreciate each summer

C

  • “Change the world” Google’s oft-stated overriding organizational goal
  • China Google’s brand foil and new PR re-positioning strategy: “China’s much worse than we are.”
  • Customer Service Google views it as unnecessary, inefficient and hard to scale; anyway Google users are always happy with all Google products and services and have no problems

D

  • Demagoogle to gain power and popularity by manipulative impassioned appeals to the emotions and prejudices of the online populace.
  • Demagooglery What Google’s legendary PR operation does
  • DNA Do Not Ask — as in Google’s claim: “Security is in our DNA”
  • Don’t Be Evil Google’s double-negative summary statement of Google’s morality/ethics, which implies Google’s competitors and traditional business are evil; the lowest ethical standard imaginable
  • Double standard What others mistakenly see when they don’t fully grasp Google’s extraordinary specialness

E

  • Ecommony Utopian economy where all Internet content and usage is free and no permission is required to do anything
  • Evil Room A place Google’s CEO says he has not found yet at Google

F

  • “Faceless scribes of drivel” Google executive’s term for most bloggers
  • Fair Use Anything Google might want to do with others intellectual property
  • Free What major Google business inputs should be (content, user private information & bandwidth)
  • Free speech What content Google decides is worth protecting

G

  • Gang of Three Co-founders Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and CEO Eric Schmidt, who are all committed to “change the world” until 2024.
  • Gatekeeper Any person or entity that has the temerity to expect Google to ask them for permission to use their property, content, or private information.
  • Goobris Google’s public display of megalomania; Google’s frequent total lack of self-awareness when it says something publicly
  • Gooey Google user stickiness/lock-in
  • Google The verb to search online; the world’s #1 brand
  • Google apologists Bloggers/commenters that reflexively attack anyone criticizing Google
  • The Google Commonweath The advertising-dependent part of the Internet
  • “Googled” Title of Ken Auletta’s book; when Google dominates you
  • The Google Empire All the world’s information that Google has already organized
  • Google-Eye Google’s ability to track most all Internet behavior and clicks
  • Google-EyeNet Google’s version of the “Skynet” computer that takes over the world in the Terminator movie series
  • Google knows best Self explanatory
  • Google Inc. The world’s largest Internet corporation behind the warm and fuzzy Google brand
  • Googleopoly Google’s control of the business model of the web — advertising
  • Googlenomics Harnessing all relevant supply & demand market information needed for a market to function and keeping it from all other market participants
  • Googleopsony Google’s dominance of content wholesaling to force a wholesale content price of zero
  • Googlephobia Fear of Google
  • The Googlesphere Bloggers dependent on Google for monetization of their content
  • The Google Rule Whoever controls others’ information — rules.
  • Googlers What Google employees call themselves
  • Google’s Achilles Heel Security
  • Google’s Axiom If it can’t be quantified, it is not worth doing.
  • Google’s Constant If it doesn’t scale, it’s not monopolize-able.
  • Google’s Dominion All the world’s information
  • Google’s Law Anything that can be done with your private information, will be done with your private information — because no permission is required. (with due deference to Murphy’s Law.)
  • Google’s Orbit AOL, Ask.com, eBay, Amazon, Craigslist and thousands of web sites that partner/use Google’s search engine on their sites
  • Google’s Poodles Google public policy allies that overlook Google’s non-compliance with their own proposals/principles
  • Google’s Postulate All good things come to those who take them.
  • Google’s PR Law No Google good deed goes unpublicized.
  • GooglesNet The shadow Internet; Google’s near exact copy of all the Internet’s ~trillion web pages that are stored on Google’s servers and that Google searches
  • Googley Term for what embodies Google’s unique and unconventional approach
  • Googley Eyes Google’s change-the-world visions
  • Googling Yourself Looking into Google’s mirror of what their algorithm shows the world about you.
  • Googzilla Competitors’ name for Google

I

  • “I’m Feeling Lucky” Google’s button for a specific recommendation of what content Google wants you to find
  • “Ideological technologists” Description of Google’s leaders by former Google executive
  • Information commons Utopian ideal where users do not have to pay or ask permission to do anything online
  • “Innovation without permission” No permission of users required to exploit their private information; no authorization of property owners required for Google to use others property however Google wants to
  • Interest-Based Advertising Google’s euphemism for we don’t want to admit Google engages in behavioral advertising

J

  • J. Edgar Google Google

N

  • NASA’s Moffet Field Google’s private landing strip and hanger for Google’s airplane fleet a few miles from Google’s Mountain View headquarters
  • Net Neutrality Largely Google-financed lobbying effort to lock-in Google’s dominant business model and create an information commons via regulation
  • Neutralism The information commons ideology behind the net neutrality movement
  • Neutralnomics School of thought where a public informations/communications commons transforms capitalistic economics of scarcity into more egalitarian “economics of abundance”

O

  • “Omnivorous search engine” Google VP Marissa Mayer’s concept of a Google search engine that knows all your contexts: where you are, what you are doing, where their Adroid phone is pointed, essentially everything relevant about you and your request
  • “One Click Away” Google’s oft-claim of immunity from antitrust liability
  • “One Sentence Manager” Google CEO’s management control and accountability system
  • Open That which benefits Google; Google’s modern-day and abbreviated branding of Ali Babba’s “open sesame”
  • Open Internet Google’s re-branding of net neutrality; where everything is open and transparent except Google’s algorithm and auctions
  • Open Internet Coalition New name for Google’s lobbying group because the previous net neutrality lobbying coalition — “Its Our Net” was too presumptuous

P

  • PageRank Google co-founder Larry Page’s search innovation that website links are analogous to academic research citations to approximate “authority” of information
  • Permissionless Profiling Privacy result of Google’s “innovation without permission” philosophy
  • Prefect Search Engine “would understand exactly what you mean and give back exactly what you want” (Larry Page)
  • Privacy What consumers want and expect, but what is contrary to Google’s finders keepers losers weepers approach to privacy
  • Privacy Dashboard Where there is no universal opt-out option or link to sign up for a “Do Not Track” list
  • Publicacy The Google/web 2.0 view that privacy is bad because it is anti-transparency and it would give users too much control and power

Q

  • Quality Score Google’s euphemism for the non-transparent and unaccountable process where Google determines what content gets discovered and what gets sent to the “back of the arena”

R

  • Relevance What Google believes should be found

S

  • “Santa Claus” Google’s latest stated aspiration: “We want to be Santa Claus. We want to make lots of toys that people like playing with.”
  • Security What is not a Google corporate priority according to Google’s corporate/design philosophy statements
  • Snoople What Google engineers do when enjoying a Snapple
  • “Stan” Google’s nickname for its Tyranasurus-Rex corporate mascot on display at its headquarters campus
  • Supreme Information Authority Google’s de facto assumed role as the only self-appointed organizer of the world’s information

T

  • Total Information Awareness What former Reagan National Security Advisor Admiral Poindexter recommended the Federal Government implement after 9-11 that Congress quickly outlawed, but which Google went ahead and did anyway. For more information, click here.
  • Total Information Awareness Power What Google has achieved in ten years
  • The Cookie Monster Google’s representation that their ubiquitous tracking cookies are as harmless as a Sesame Street character
  • Transparency What Google fears most; what Google expects of everyone but Google

U

  • Unauthorized Tracking Google’s recording of users clickstreams as they surf the web where DoubleClick serves ads, i.e. about 90% of sites with advertising
  • United States of Google The first sovereign virtual nation state envisioned by Jeff Jarvis, author of “What Would Google DO?”

W

  • “What Would Google Do” Jeff Jarvis’ book deifying Google
  • We are the victim Google’s company anthem sung to the tune of “we are the world”